Flight Forward Read online

  I get a beautiful, dimple-filled smile from my boy. He makes his way into the kitchen, giving me a kiss, then heading to his wife to greet her too. The view of them coming together after a day apart sends a bittersweet pain to my chest. Jonah resembles my Ryan so closely, especially as he ages, that seeing him like that makes me miss my husband with a fierce intensity.

  “Let me take a quick shower, then I’ll help you finish up. Everything smells great, Mom.”

  * * *

  I just finished putting the food on the table when the doorbell rings. Blake and Layla arrived about ten minutes ago and Eve isn’t going to make it. She already had plans with her new man tonight. Which means, it must be Marcus and Jarrett. My palms get sweaty and I instantly feel the need to rush to the bathroom and check my hair.

  You can do this, Katherine. I give myself a mental pep talk.

  The excitement at seeing Marcus again has me heading for the front door, but when I do, I see Raven standing there, unmoving. She has the door open and is just staring at the men on the step.

  “Raven?” I step up behind her. “Is everything okay?”

  She looks to me, then back to the men. “Do you know who that is? Who they are?” Her eyes are big and round like marbles. The blue-green hue glowing with excitement. “They—That’s—That’s Marcus and Jarrett Dean.” She informs me, as if we haven’t met.

  I look to Jarrett, who I’ve only met once; his head is bowed as he tries to hide his laugh. His blonde hair a wild crop on the top of his head.

  “Hi, guys, come on in.”

  I gently push Raven back from the door. She moves a bit mechanically but seems to get with the program.

  “Raven, let’s show the boys to the dining room, we can do all the introductions there.”

  Joey comes up behind us. “Everything okay out here?” He wraps a possessive arm around Raven.

  “You never told me it was Marcus Dean in the driveway.” Raven turns to Jonah, the wonder lust spills from her lips. Fangirl syndrome has my daughter-in-law acting all sorts of crazy. “Did you realize your mom was dating one of the most respected Crew Chiefs in the NHRA?”

  “I didn’t know they were dating.” His jaw ticks slightly, while he bypasses the question.

  “Why didn’t you give me a heads up? You know I’m a huge fan.”

  “Baby, you knew they were coming to dinner.”

  Raven whispers, but everyone in the entry way can hear her. “Yes, you told me driveway guy was coming… You failed to mention who that officially was, or even give me his actual name...”

  I smile awkwardly at Marcus while I consider slapping my man-child on the back of the head. I seriously hope he isn’t offended by this. We’ve talked a lot about Jonah’s struggles with me dating again, and I pray he’s taking this all-in stride.

  His answering wink awakens butterflies in my chest, they take flight when he leans down to kiss my cheek. Ignoring the standoff, I lead the boys past Jonah and Raven into the dining room, where everyone else is congregating, taking the bottles of wine he brought, and placing them on the table.

  “Blake and Layla, I’d like you to meet Marcus, and his son Jarrett.”

  Everyone greets one another, while Raven stands back a bit, still looking star struck. I suppose I never mentioned Marcus’ last name to her, or gave it a thought that she would know who he and Jarrett are. Her love for all things car related.

  Raven finally makes her way back over, her hand stretching out to Marcus. “Mr. Dean, it’s such an honor to meet you. I’m a huge fan.” She shakes his hand, her eyes darting between him and Jarret. “Jarrett, you—your driving is amazing. You’ve moved up the NHRA ranks so fast—you—I believe you could win the World Championship this year.”

  Jarrett tucks his chin in what looks like embarrassment. “Thank you. That’s definitely something I hope will happen someday.”

  “It will.” She says it like she knows it to be fact.

  “Yes!” Layla walks up to where we’re congregated, interrupting Raven’s predictions. “I knew I recognized you.” She points a finger in Marcus’ direction. “You’re from that car show.”

  Jarrett’s face absolutely beams at her statement. “You owe me twenty, old man.”

  Marcus looks to the floor, shaking his head lightly. “Sorry Miss, but I’m not the guy you think I am.”

  “Blake, give me your phone.” She starts digging around at his pockets, before finding purchase. “Look!” She keys away at the phone in concentration. Flipping the small screen around, she holds up a picture of an equally gorgeous man, with very similar features to Marcus. Though the man displayed is wearing sunglasses, so I can’t make out his eyes. He also has colorful tattoos on his arms that Marcus doesn’t.

  Raven takes a peak at the phone, making an odd noise. “Holy crap! The resemblance is unbelievable now that you point it out, but that guy is Richard Rawlings from Gas Monkey Garage. This—“ she points to Marcus, “Is Marcus Dean. He’s the Head Crew Chief for the Parks Oil team. Just moved in from Indianapolis, changing their shop headquarters from Gasoline Alley to our very own Las Vegas Motor Speedway.” She grabs her belly with her hands, like the excitement is too much on her body.

  “No kidding? He looks just like this hot guy from that television show.” Layla shakes her blonde head in disbelief.

  Jarrett laughs out loud at the girls. “Dad used to have a beard like Richard’s, but shaved it off so people would leave him alone. He swore it would work, now he owes me twenty bucks every time someone asks him that.” The easiness between all of them is fun to watch. Marcus just glares at his son.

  “Mouse.” Blake yanks his phone back from her hand, sticking it in his jeans pocket. “That’s impossible. The only—hot guy—your eyes identify is this one.” He takes his two fingers flashing them from his eyes to hers. “The one who put that baby in there.” He motions to her belly.

  I can’t tell if he’s joking or not, that loony boy.

  “Dinner is getting cold.” The sound of Jonah’s flat tone has everyone quieting down and heading for the table. He hasn’t said much at all since our guests arrived, causing a little tension in the air.

  “Alright everyone.” I motion to the food on the table. “Those are potatoes.” I point out the bowl on the left. “The real deal. This one here is actually cauliflower, mashed up to look like potatoes for those of you who are anti-carb. The bird was free to run on its own and has none of the letters from the alphabet in it. So, everyone should be safe to eat it.” I struggle to keep the sarcasm out of my tone. Joey had me so nervous about what to cook for dinner that I ended up making a Thanksgiving spread. Looking at all the food now, I realize it may have been a bit overkill.

  Raven snickers from her seat, while Layla tries not to make eye contact. The smile barely contained on her face.

  “I followed all the food instructions as best I could, but I call bullshit on dessert.”

  “Mom…” Jonah isn’t amused with my teasing.

  “What, Joey? I’m just letting everyone know I made apple pies. The sugar is real, the carbs are there, and the ice cream is the richest stuff I could find. Eat at your own risk.” I take a seat next to Marcus, ready to get this dinner moving. I’m suddenly feeling very nervous about having everyone under one roof.

  He reaches under the table and squeezes my thigh. “Everything looks great, Kat.”

  Blake’s head flies up, looking at Marcus with that glint in his eye. “You got a Kat, Marcus?” He drapes his arm over Layla. “I just happen to have a Mouse.” His signature grin covers that handsome face. His inner comedian always out on display.

  The sound of silver wear hitting a plate interrupts the conversation. “Pass the cauliflower.” Jonah motions to the bowl on the table.

  “Don’t be such a grouch, Dad.” Blake passes the fake potatoes to my pouting son. “You’ve got to let the kids grow up eventually.”

  Everyone at the table laughs. All except my Joey. This is harder on him than I thought
it would be.

  “So, what do you have out in that garage of yours, Jonah? I’ve seen a lot of impressive things coming and going.” Marcus tries to start a conversation.

  “Ford pickup, Camaro, Harley, Impala. Raven’s Nova.” He keeps shoveling food in his mouth as he speaks. Not even making eye contact.

  “I’d love to take a look sometime. You have great taste.”

  “You’ve got a garage, I’m sure there’s no need to be in mine.” He’s being flat out rude right now and it’s really starting to upset me.

  “Oh Joey…” Blake shakes his head frantically from side-to-side, talking with his mouth full. “I’m a hundred percent sure Marcus doesn’t want—in your garage… That’s one dark hole—no man—wants in.” He keeps a straight face as I blush at his innuendo. “I think what he’s asking… is if he can look at your automobiles. Not actually get—in your garage.”

  Oh, for the love of God…

  The snickers at my son’s expense can’t be hidden. I’ve got to hand it to Blake. For as inappropriate as that boy is the majority of the time, his heart always seems to be in the right place. And right now, he’s trying his hardest to send Marcus a lifeline.

  * * *

  “Katherine.” Ravens soft voice filters through my sleep. “Katherine. Wake up.”

  With that last statement, I bolt upright, the blanket I was wrapped up in falling around me. “Is everything alright with the baby? Where’s Joey? What’s going on?” Panic is taking over.

  “I’m fine.” She runs her hand up and down my arm trying to calm me. “It’s Eve. She just called, someone tried to hurt her. Jonah is on his way to get her now.”

  “Did you call the police? Is she alright?”

  “Jonah is handling it. I just wanted to let you know that he’ll be bringing her back to the house shortly. I’m going to make up a bed on the couch for her.”

  “Honey, no. Let her stay in here.” I get out of the bed and start to pull off the covers. Mom mode is in full effect. “I’ll change the sheets. If she had a rough night, she’s going to want a bed to sleep in. I want her to have it, I can take the couch.” As I pull the fitted sheet off the bed, another idea comes to mind. “Better yet, I’ll go over to Marcus’ house for the night. I know he won’t mind. That will give Eve a little more privacy. I’m sure the last thing she needs is an audience when she gets here.”

  “Are you sure? I feel bad having you leave in the middle of the night.”

  I pull a clean set of sheets from the closet. “I’m sure. Don’t even give it a second thought.” I start to make up the bed. Raven grabs the other side of the sheets, and we get it put back together.

  I find my phone, paying no attention to the time and send Marcus a text.

  Mind if I crash on your couch? The kids need to help a friend tonight.

  I throw on a pair of yoga pants and slide into my flipflops when my phone chimes.

  Marcus: on my way

  Before I can even text him back, there’s a soft knock on the front door. I open it, to find Marcus bare foot and shirtless, with only a pair of gym shorts on. His chest heaving.

  “Did you just run hear?” My eyes lock on his exposed skin, a dusting of hair covering his wide chest that leads down to a firm stomach.

  “Is everyone okay?” He interrupts my perusal of his upper body.

  “Eve needs a place to stay tonight. Something happened and Jonah went to get her. I wanted to give them some privacy. Sorry for the late-night text.”

  He kisses my cheek, and then grabs my hand. “I’m glad you called.”

  “Raven, honey, I’m going to go. Please call me if you need anything.”

  She just nods her head. I know she’s really worried about her best friend. I’ll say a few extra prayers that everything is okay.

  Once we get back to Marcus’ house, the reality that I just asked to stay the night sinks in. Looking down at my yoga pants and t-shirt has me feeling very self-conscious.

  “You want a drink?” He goes to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water.

  “Thank you.” Unscrewing the cap, I take a long drink hoping it will drown my nerves.

  “Do you want to stay up for a while, or go lay down?” He steps up to my back and wraps his arms around my waist. Resting his chin on my shoulder.

  “I—I don’t know.” I’m sure he can feel my heart pounding from where he’s pressed to me.

  “Let’s just go lay down for a while. We can talk until you fall asleep.” As if reading my mind, he instantly calmed my nerves by letting me know there were no expectations tonight.

  I know he’s a wonderful guy, and he would never pressure me into anything, but climbing into bed with another man after all this time feels almost like the first.

  “I can just crash on the couch. It’s no big deal.” My nerves bubble up and out of my mouth.

  “I’m not having you sleep on the couch. But, if it makes you more comfortable, I will. Let me just get you settled in, and then you can decide.” He leads me back to his room, the lights are off and only the glow from the moon filters through the window. The huge bed is in disarray, probably from his frantic departure.

  “Lay down, Kat, let me hold you for a little bit.” His soft, soothing voice squashes any nerves I had, as I climb into his bed. The second my head hits the pillow, my lungs are filled with his wonderful scent. I resist the urge to bury my face in the sheets, and then feel him climb in behind me and wrap his arms around me.

  Sinking into his embrace, I release the breath I was holding, as another piece of the lonely I carry lightens. “Thank you, Marcus.” I wrap my arms over his and hold on just a little tighter.

  “This feels right, Kat. You in my house. In my bed. In my arms.”

  “It scares the hell out of me.” The truth flows out. It’s always easier to talk in the dark. For some reason, it feels safer.

  “Has there been anyone else since your husband?” His question is full of compassion, and for the first time, I feel at peace with the idea of moving on.

  “No.” I take a long pause, trying to find the words to explain why I’ve remained so isolated from men for the last fifteen years. “At first—At first the idea of doing anything other than surviving was out of the question. Jonah was twelve, Beth ten.” I take a shaky breath. Emotion, clogging my throat.

  “Take your time, Katherine. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “I—I focused on them until they were both out of the house. Jonah moved out the second he could. The house suffocated him. He was there when we got the news—in that same house. The older he got, the angrier, it’s what fueled the fighting. Beth turned into an even more dependent daughter, needed me to give her the attention you would normally get from two parents. So, after surviving the initial grief, I spent all my time focusing a hundred percent of my attention on the kids.”

  “That had to be tough.” He squeezes me in support.

  “Believe it or not, it was easier than what came after. When the house was empty.” Memories of the house Ryan and I brought our children home to, flood my mind. The silent walls closing in on me when the kids weren’t there to drown it out. “It was awful. The quiet was deafening. The reminder of him being gone even stronger. I had to move out. I had slid into such a deep depression, that I honestly felt like there was no other choice.” The shame I felt when I sold that house still haunts me. Like I gave a part of my Ryan to the highest bidder.

  Gentle lips on my neck bring me back to the present. “I’m so sorry, Katherine.”

  “I moved into a condo, and in no time, Beth got married. She ended up pregnant with twins right after. Eric and Aiden came into this world like a tornado, sweeping me right up from my depression. I was distracted with love and joy, and my daughter and her husband welcomed all the help they could get.”

  “Until they moved overseas.” Marcus reminds me of the conversation we had on our first walk, when I told him of Rick’s job opportunity.

  “Yes. Except this time, when e
verything quieted down, I could still breath.” I roll over in his arms so I can face him. Wanting him to know where my head is now. “The night before I met you, I had told Jonah that I was going to start dating again. That I was ready.”

  “Man, I’ve got great timing.” His chest vibrates against mine with light laughter.

  “I think it’s why he’s giving you such a hard time. He really hasn’t had an opportunity to get used to the idea. It’s always just been me… until tonight, anyway. When I formally introduced you.”

  Marcus kisses me, long and deep. Our bodies entwining. The warmth and security spreading rapidly through my system causing a feeling in me so profound, I never want to let go.

  He buries his head in my neck. “I know this thing between us is new, but I don’t want you to go back. I want you to stay. Here. With me.”

  Running my hands along his back, connecting to him in new ways, I agree. “I want that too, Marcus.”

  Chapter Eight

  Katherine

  The next morning, I walk back over to Jonah and Raven’s house. I need to shower and get ready. Marcus is taking me to the track today to see the racing headquarters and watch Jarrett and other team members do some test runs.

  I find Raven in the kitchen making a cup of tea.

  “Good morning, honey. How’s Eve doing?” I never heard from them last night, so I’m taking that as a good sign.

  “She’s fine. She’s actually still in bed, which is unlike her. I plan on letting her sleep as long as possible.” She looks me over from top to bottom, then meets my eyes. Her aquamarine orbs shining, “how was your night?”

  I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face. “It was good. Marcus—he’s—he’s been an unexpected gift.” Gift? Is that what he is to me? It’s only been a few short days. Not even an entire week. But the idea of leaving and never seeing him again seems unimaginable.